Saturday, March 31, 2012

Clay Aiken Says Rihanna Has 'Pitch Problems'

'American Idol' alum takes shots at Rihanna, admits to plastic surgery.
By Gil Kaufman


Clay Aiken
Photo: Getty Images

Clay Aiken knows about competition. The TV veteran was not only a runner-up on the second season of "American Idol," but he's also hanging tough on the 12th season of "Celebrity Apprentice."

But during an appearance on Bravo's "Watch What Happens Live," he told host Andy Cohen that there's one person he's not worried about competing with: Rihanna.

The dis came when Aiken was on the hot seat in the "plead the fifth" segment. When asked which current pop singers wouldn't make it past the first round on "Idol," Aiken said, "Oh God, there is too many. Too many ... Current pop singer? I've stopped listening to them because they can't sing."

Then he thought about it for a second and said, "Rihanna has some pitch problems for sure. She does ... Now, am I gonna get in trouble?" The openly gay singer also had a unique answer to the "marry, kill, screw" question, when asked who he would choose between former tormentor and ex-"Idol" judge Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and "Idol" host Ryan Seacrest. "Oh gosh, that's awful, I wouldn't want to kill any of them," he said. "I'm gonna kill Simon, because it's the obvious choice ... Of the two that are left, I would probably screw Ryan and marry Randy. That's the obvious choice, right?"

As if he hadn't revealed enough, when asked if, as rumored, he'd ever had any plastic surgery, Aiken at first demurred, then admitted, "I had surgery on my jaw for a TMJ thing and I had them suck the fat out of my chin while they were in there. I was like, 'You know what? While I'm already down, go ahead and take the vacuum in there and suck the fat out of my chin.' "

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Duties:? Supports the Corporate Finance department with reporting, budgeting and planning, consolidations, financial reporting and other financial analysis as directed.
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The 'Rich List' kept getting richer in 2011

By Halimah Abdullah

They say that wealth begets wealth. That sure rang true for many hedge fund managers in 2011.

The ?Rich List? of Wall Street hedge fund managers, who took home a combined $14.4 billion last year, includes businessmen who culled their wealth in part through fees charged to pensions and to manage money for the wealthy.

The annual ranking by AR Magazine, an industry publication, also includes managers who made millions even though the returns on their funds?didn?t do much better than the overall S&P 500?s performance last year.

And in a year when the Occupy Wall Street movement protested inequitable wealth distribution, top hedge fund managers handling investments for the super-rich still found ways to make big money.

Take for example Ray Dalio, founder of Bridgewater Associates, who earned almost $4 billion mostly by betting on U.S. Treasuries, according to a TODAY report Friday by NBC senior investigative correspondent Lisa Myers.

?My customers are pension funds, teachers. I did well when others didn?t and I?m going to say that they are very grateful,? Dalio said in an interview with PBS.

Two years in a row, Dalio's firm earned more than Google, Yahoo, Amazon and Ebay combined, Myers found. And Dalio?s earnings were just considered ?pretty good? by industry standards.

?The industry?s fees and performance are so out of whack it?s unbelievable,? Bradley H. Alford, a former hedge fund investor who now oversees a mutual fund firm told the New York Times. "Fifteen years ago, you got double-digit performance for those returns, but last year, the S&P was positive and hedge funds were negative. There?s no alignment with fees.?

Number 2 on the list, shareholder activist Carl Icahn, raked in $2.5 billion.

Number 3, James Simons, who owns a stake in the Renaissance Fund, earned $2.1 billion. Citadel hedge fund head Ken Griffin got $700 million.

Griffin has a taste for the good life, Myers found.

His wedding reception was held at the palace of Versailles. He owns at least four homes in the U.S. including a $17 million home in an exclusive Hawaiian resort. He donated an eponymously named wing to the Art Institute in Chicago.

Then there?s the pauper of the top five: Steve Cohen.

Cohen, head of SAC Capital Advisers, earned a comparatively paltry?$585 million. He?s also a big spender.

He has?a 35,000 square foot mansion, owns a piece of the Mets and his world-class art collection is worth millions.

There were some losers in the group. Last year?s standout star, hedge fund manager John Paulson, founder of Paulson & Co., is believed to have personally lost about $3 billion ? losses partly attributed to his investment in a Chinese timber company later accused of fraud, according to the New York Times.

All?these billionaires either declined to comment or did not respond to NBC's calls. The managers argue that, unlike some corporate CEOs, they only do well if their investors do well.

Dalio has pledged to give away at least half of his wealth to charity.

TODAY.com contributor Halimah Abdullah often reports on the influence of money on politics and policy.

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Did you hear the 1 about the politician who ...

WASHINGTON (AP) ? Mitt Romney hit an off note when he told a "humorous" story about his dad shutting down a factory.

Robert De Niro managed to get both Newt Gingrich and the Obama campaign riled up when he joked at an Obama fundraiser that America isn't ready for a white first lady.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry, still nursing wounds from his failed presidential campaign, did himself a world of good with his self-deprecating jokes at a recent Washington dinner.

Done right, humor can be a huge asset for a politician. But it is fumbled easily in the overheated environment of a political campaign.

That may be why Romney's aides sent him to the "The Tonight Show" this past week with these instructions: "Don't try and be funny."

The Republican presidential front-runner largely complied, and that worked out just fine for him. But he apparently forgot his advisers' advice the next day when he attempted to be funny on a conference call with people in next-to-vote Wisconsin.

Romney recounted what he called a "humorous" story about the time his auto executive father shut down a factory in Michigan and moved it to Wisconsin. Later, when his dad was in a parade while running for Michigan governor, the marching band kept playing the University of Wisconsin fight song.

"Every time they would start playing 'On, Wisconsin! On Wisconsin!' my dad's political people would jump up and down and try to get them to stop," Romney said with a laugh.

A joke about closing factories? In this economy? What was he thinking?

Democrats pounced on it as fresh evidence that Romney is out of touch with the economic concerns of ordinary voters.

Jokes that might be funny another time often don't pass muster under the klieg lights of a presidential campaign.

De Niro attempted satire during a New York fundraiser headlined by Michelle Obama this month when he ticked off the names of the wives of the GOP presidential candidates and then joked that America wasn't "ready for a white first lady."

Donors roared their approval. But by the next morning, Gingrich was calling the racial reference to the Republican wives "inexcusable" and the chastened Obama campaign was labeling the actor's comments "inappropriate."

De Niro at first declined to comment but ended up apologizing ? sort of.

"My remarks, although spoken with satirical jest, were not meant to offend or embarrass anyone ? especially the first lady," he said in a statement.

President Barack Obama, for his part, has had better luck using humor to deflect questions about his own vulnerabilities ? real or perceived.

During a St. Patrick's Day reception this month, Obama was presented with a certificate of Irish heritage by the Irish prime minister.

"This will have a special place of honor alongside my birth certificate," Obama deadpanned, deftly sending the message that any lingering doubts about where he was born are nothing but a joke.

Sometimes, humor can come back to bite a candidate long after the laugh lines have faded.

In 2004, when Romney was Massachusetts governor, he took a jab at the wealth of that year's monied presidential candidate, Democratic Sen. John Kerry.

"There's a senator from my state, you may have heard, that wants to get elected president," Romney said at a Republican Governors Association dinner. "And I don't know why he wants to do that because, of course, if he won he'd have to move into a smaller house."

It may have been funny then, but the joke boomeranged when it resurfaced on the Internet this past week just as Romney is trying to combat an elitist image.

Perry, whose Republican presidential campaign quickly floundered in the primaries, took a big step toward rehabilitating his image with his appearance last weekend at a fancy Washington dinner for journalists and their guests.

He got plenty of laughs when he joked that his time as the GOP front-runner had been "the three most exhilarating hours of my life."

He perfectly skewered Romney by quipping that during the GOP debates, he'd been tempted to turn to his rival and ask, "Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?"

Getting off a few well-rehearsed jokes ? often written by someone else ? is generally less challenging than displaying pitch-perfect humor day after day amid the grind of campaigning. Perry's jokes, for example, were written by GOP speechwriter Landon Parvin.

But even some of the most carefully thought-out jokes, in the end, just aren't funny.

Take President George W. Bush, at a White House Correspondents Association dinner in 2004. He narrated a slide show that included a photo of himself hunting around in the Oval Office and then quipped, "Those weapons of mass destruction gotta be somewhere."

Critics said it was a callous joke, given all those who had died in the Iraq war.

Even some candidates with a natural funny bone have found that it doesn't always translate well to a presidential campaign.

Republican Sens. Bob Dole and John McCain, whose humor was a hit with congressional colleagues and reporters, both discovered their sometimes wicked sense of humor could be too cutting for a presidential campaign.

Morris Udall, a Democratic congressman from Arizona, got more laughs than votes in his 1976 run for president and ended up writing a memoir titled, "Too Funny to be President."

On the other hand, some decidedly unfunny candidates have benefited by exceeding extremely low expectations.

When candidate Richard Nixon went on the TV comedy show "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In" in 1968 and said "Sock it to ME?" he got rave reviews.

___

Associated Press writers Ben Feller, Charles Babington and Laurie Kellman contributed to this report.

___

Follow Nancy Benac on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/nbenac

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